Psychologist explains the importance of setting personal boundaries

Clinical psychologist Stephen A. Diamond explains the psychological importance of the ability to say ‘no’ as a means of expressing personal needs and maintaining healthy boundaries. According to Diamond, writing for Psychology Today, many individuals struggle to refuse requests due to a fear of hurting or disappointing others, or a desire to remain constantly helpful and available. In some cases, low self-esteem can lead individuals to feel they lack the right to set boundaries.

The development of this ability begins in childhood. Diamond notes that children typically start using ‘no’ frequently between 18 and 30 months as they begin to recognize themselves as distinct individuals with their own desires and preferences. If a child's attempts to express will are met with anger, punishment, or shame, they may learn that refusal is unacceptable in an effort to secure affection and approval.