Psychologist Mark Travers Says Self‑Control Is Essential for Healthy Relationships

Dr. Mark Travers, a psychologist writing for Psychology Today, argues that self‑control – also described as self‑regulation – is a central skill for successful, long‑lasting relationships. He explains that while attraction and chemistry matter, the ability to pause before reacting helps partners navigate conflicts, jealousy and insecurity without making impulsive decisions. Travers recommends techniques such as “self‑distancing,” where individuals view a triggering situation from a neutral, third‑person perspective, thereby expanding the time gap between impulse and response. He notes that this practice can be cultivated over time and improves emotional management during heated discussions.

According to Travers, developing self‑control supports compromise and reduces the likelihood of harmful reactions, ultimately strengthening the bond between partners.