Psychologist advises parents against telling children they can achieve anything

Psychologist Juli Fraga advises parents against telling children they can achieve anything they set their minds to, labeling the common phrase a ‘false message’ that sets unrealistic expectations.

Writing for CNBC Make It, Fraga explains that suggesting every goal is attainable through hard work alone can be misleading for highly competitive ambitions, such as becoming a pop star or entering elite universities. This approach may also foster extrinsic motivation, where children strive for external rewards like trophies or grades rather than internal satisfaction.

Instead, Fraga suggests using more realistic language to build resilience and confidence. One recommended approach is encouraging children to try new things even when they feel afraid. By validating a child's fear of new challenges, parents can help them understand that such emotions are normal, ultimately strengthening their ability to face future obstacles.